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Dear J.T. & DALE: My co-workers are a married couple. They’ve been with the company a long time, and the owners love them. Unfortunately, there is trouble in paradise. The couple have been fighting a lot lately and bringing it to the office. It’s very distracting. The three of us work in the same department. I feel caught in between. I don’t want to get them in trouble, but if I go to HR and ask to be transferred, they’ll ask why. Help! – Bradley

J.T.: I would sit them down separately and tell each of them that you’ve observed a change and that it’s affecting your work. Try to cite actual examples.

DALE: Ouch. That’s a doomed strategy – wait, unless the plan is to bring the marrieds back together via a mutual hatred of Bradley, reunited by their resentment of his intrusion.

J.T.: Let me finish. Your goal, Bradley, is to ask for some ground rules to ensure that they don’t bring their personal life to the office.

DALE: No, no. That’s sure to make things worse. The result will be simmering three-way animosity. Instead, you just have to rise above. Couples fight. Non-couple colleagues fight. It happens. This is a marvelous opportunity to learn the underrated art of doing nothing. The only real problem here is that you’re “distracted.” Don’t be. I can hear you scoffing, but that’s really all there is to do: Just bite your lip, smile and say to yourself, “Here’s a chance to practice the self-discipline of JDMJ (Just Doing My Job).”

J.T.: When that doesn’t work, follow my advice, meet with them and ask for ground rules. Doing so, you will have put yourself in a position to solve the problem, either way they react. In your discussions, you can give a heads-up that if they can’t get along, you’ll ask to be transferred. If they know it’s gotten that bad, I’m certain they won’t want it getting back to the owners. Even if, as you say, the owners “love them,” there’s still a business to run, and management can’t have personal issues of employees hurting the productivity of others. Either way works.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I called in sick for work to go to a concert with a friend. She posted a picture on Facebook of us at the concert. Turns out, she’s connected to my boss, and he saw it. He made a comment on the post about me not looking too sick. Am I going to get fired? – Ashley

DALE: If your boss is the sort to be connected to employees on Facebook, he might be the understanding sort; he may just laugh it off. However, I’d assume the worst and be prepared to apologize.

J.T.: Yes, I would ask to meet with him as soon you can. Flat-out apologize for lying. Do not try to justify or explain. Instead, just say: “I know I shouldn’t have called in sick. I know I should have asked for the time off and been honest as to why. I’m very sorry and extremely embarrassed. I don’t want to lose my job. I’m hoping you will forgive me, and I’ll understand if you can’t.” That’s the best you can do. This way, he understands that you are accountable for your mistake and that you are sincerely sorry, and you can hope he sees this as a learning opportunity.

DALE: Agreed, although as a negotiating strategy, you don’t want to put on the table the worst possible outcome: losing your job. Don’t take his mind there. Instead, get him thinking about this: “How could I make it up to you? I’ll work late or weekends or whatever you say.” That way, you get him thinking of options other than the zero-one choice of “fired or not fired.” Done right, this will bring you two closer together, and maybe he’ll even follow you on Facebook and that will reinforce the truth of this assumption for the modern age: The camera is always on; the mic is always hot. Always. Everywhere. Always.