Dear J.T. & DALE: I have a history of working for tyrant bosses. Each time I get hired, the manager turns out to be crazy. How do I break free and work for someone who is a true leader? – Jerome
DALE: I hate to point this out, Jerome, but the common denominator in these employment relationships is you. It might be that you have a knack for picking horrible bosses, or maybe you just drive them crazy. Let’s assume it’s the former.
J.T.: I am sure that, to some degree, the bosses you’ve interviewed with are acting one way in the interview and then another on the job.
DALE: I often advise rookie managers, “The person you interview is never the person you hire.” What you see in an interview is the interview personality. That works both ways.
J.T.: The solution is to come up with leadership questions to ask in the interview. Examples:
– Tell me about the best employees you have, what do they do right?
– Tell me about the worst employees you’ve had, what did they
do wrong?
– What is your management style?
DALE: Those are great questions, and the best “tell” is if the hiring manager is reluctant to answer them. However, even if you like the answers, remember that the boss interviewing you is never the boss you’ll work for.
J.T.: One solution is to spend time on Glassdoor.com to check on the company’s culture and leadership. Also, at the interview, ask if you can meet potential colleagues. Usually you can tell by the enthusiasm (or lack thereof) if it’s a place you want to work.
DALE: And, bigger picture, think about what you’re up against in finding a great boss. When I wrote about them in the book “The Gifted Boss,” I suggested that the best ones were maybe 5 percent of managers/executives. That’s 1-in-20. So the odds are against you, especially if you consider that the best bosses have people angling to work for them. So you must spot them and work to be “great boss-worthy.” That means building a history of measurable exceptional performance, even with your current tyrants.
Dear J.T. & Dale: My wife works at a restaurant with a new owner, who is cutting costs everywhere. She’s worried she won’t get the paid vacation she’s gotten for 20 years. If she doesn’t get it, her plan is to say, “Then I’m taking the next three weeks off without pay.” I think this is a bad idea. What do you think?
– Allen
DALE: I agree with you, Allen, but let me pass along a secret of a happy marriage: Never offer advice. The best you can do – and it’s still treacherous – is offer to help her think through strategies. The key word is “offer”: If she doesn’t want help, you’ll only reinforce her anger. What’s the one thing an angry employee is most likely to get from a heated confrontation with the boss? A new job title, one with “former” added to it.
J.T.: The big lesson here is to get it in writing. If the old vacation pay arrangement is “off the books,” then it’s entirely at the discretion of the employer. So your wife’s attempt to play hardball-
DALE: Hold on. She’ll be saying, in effect, “Well, if there’s no vacation pay, then I’m going to take a vacation without pay.” Seems to me that’s softball.
J.T.: The “hardball” part is, I believe, abruptly taking three weeks and leaving the boss in a scheduling hole. That might work, or it might lead to getting fired. The better approach is to sit down with the new owner for a calm discussion about what it will take to maintain the vacation pay benefit. Ideally, she’ll get it in writing. That way, it will be clear in the future. However, even so, since your wife is an “at-will” employee, the employer can change the rules at any time. In exchange, your wife has the right to quit if she doesn’t like the changes. But instead of confrontation, the goal is to work together to come up with a win-win solution.
– Workplace consultant and career coach J.T. O’Donnell has coached, trained and mentored employees and managers on a wide variety of career-related subjects since 1994. Her book, “CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to A Satisfying Career” is available at JTODonnell.com. Management guru Dale Dauten has written six books and is an authority on innovation in the workplace. His latest book, “Great Employees Only: How Gifted Bossess Hire & Dehire Their Way to Success” is available at Dauten.com. copyright 2013 King Features.
