With just over a week away, it’s just about the time when people actually start putting their costumes together. There’s no shame in that game: there comes a time in your twenties when life takes precedence over dress-up. It’s one of life’s sad truths, like cavities or the real world’s total lack of wizards.
If you still haven’t figured out what you’re going to be, we’ve got your back. From Drake to Taylor Swift to Jack White, these ten musician-themed costumes are cheap, easy to put together and will pass the “what are you supposed to be test” so long as you’re committed to the role.
Jack White
What you’ll need: Baby powder, a vaudevillian barber’s outfit, guacamole instructions, a hand-crank gramophone, a steam-powered car.
How to sell it: At every party you attend, find a hapless group per your detailed instructions. While you wait, and crank out insane blues solos. After you taste the guacamole and find it isn’t to your liking, and putter away in your steam car to another party. Repeat.
Peaches
What you’ll need: Face paint, a cool haircut, a text book emblazoned “The Teaches Of Peaches,” one LED, a
How to sell it: The more odd stunts and props the better (consider the list above a jumping off point). Make half of the people you meet extremely uncomfortable, and the other half extremely delighted. If you can get your hands on a cymbal, out of it early and often.
Miley Cyrus
What you’ll need: Pink spandex, large tub of Vaseline, glitter, joint(s). Alternatively, see .
How to sell it: Tongue wagging is an obvious must. Any time anyone smokes weed, take photos and talk about how much you love doing it, too. At the very end of the evening, announce to the party that you’ve just released a free mixtape online, which is actually just about weed and your recently deceased goldfish. Alternatively, see Peaches.
Drake
What you’ll need: Timberland boots, a well-cropped fake beard, , a turtleneck sweater, one bottle of Visine (for tears), cellphone full of ex-girlfriends’ numbers.
How to sell it: Obviously, you’re going to need to . If you happen to run across any professional athletes real or as a costume, give them . And if you really want to take it to the next level, leave all those ex-girlfriends .
Taylor Swift
What you’ll need: Red lipstick, posse of supermodel friends, an expensive dress, a vial of goat’s blood.
How to sell it: Relate with everyone you meet on an uncomfortable level. Take selfies with them, and in your Instagram caption, call them . Smile. Always. When you’re finally alone, recite your daily incantation over the goat’s blood to reaffirm your fame pact with the Dark Lord.
The Weeknd
What you’ll need: Black leather jacket, black jeans, a pack of gum, a jug of coffee.
How to sell it: First, chew the entire pack of gum. Strategically work the wads into your hair so it sticks out at improbable angles. Save the coffee for midnight, and drink it all at once. You have to stay up until at least 5 a.m., because that’s when all the cool parties happen according to your music. (Note: This works best if you have cool friends who throw cool parties at late hours. Otherwise, you might have to settle for Denny’s.)
Lana Del Rey
What you’ll need: Cigarettes, a cigarette holder, massive sunglasses, smeared mascara, a Cruella de Ville dress, one pound of cooked spaghetti.
How to sell it: Eat the pound of spaghetti before you go out so you have the world-weary thing down pat. At the bar, drink only straight chartreuse, preferably in champagne saucers. Never emote, especially when delighted.
Jim James
What you’ll need: A colorful cape, a fake beard, moccasins, one Omnichord synthesizer.
How to sell it: are essential. You should be howling every chance you get–at least a quarter of the time you’re outside. Any time someone touches you, sing and start poking furiously on your vintage Omnichord.
Beyonce
What you’ll need: A white spandex one-piece, an American flag and .
How to sell it: Treat sidewalks as if they were runways. Remember: confidence is key. If anyone asks you why you’re holding a chicken, inform them that in three months, they’ll all be holding chickens. Also, avoid areas with music, because you would’ve needed to started dance training at least a year ago.
Lady Gaga
What you’ll need: Ten pounds of stew meat, staples, a burlap sack and a blonde bob.
How to sell it: Staple all the meat to your burlap sack, obviously. When people ask what you’re supposed to be, say “provocative.” Walk away knowing you’ve changed their lives forever.
