Dear Amy: It’s the time of year to send holiday cards to friends and family.
I traditionally include a letter highlighting my family’s activities; however, my husband and I recently separated, and I am not sure whether I should bring up our separation in a holiday letter.
Should I just talk about the “good” parts of the year and not mention the separation? Should I forgo a holiday letter this year, or should I just sign my name and my children’s names to the letter? Many of the people on my holiday card list are not people I keep tabs with, so they don’t know about the separation. Should I write them a separate letter?
– Stumped and Separated in Va.
Dear Stumped: You should do what you want to do. Perhaps you don’t feel like sending a letter this year. In that case, don’t. A card with a picture of the kids, signed by you and them, might be the best you can do. People on your list will draw their own conclusions and perhaps get in touch with you to see what’s up and inquire about how you’re doing.
There is nothing wrong with including “bad” news in a holiday letter. The trick is to do it sensitively. Perhaps you can say, “Unfortunately, Will and I have decided to separate. Will has moved to an apartment in town and sees the kids frequently, and we’re all weathering the transition as best we can.” I’m not suggesting that you gloss over anything, but if you can convey this information simply and neutrally, then you should.
In this age of e-cards and Googling, I love sending and receiving these simple documents that warmly convey the basics of the year gone by and wishes for the year to come.
…
Dear Amy: Thank you for publishing the letter recently from the gentleman who was distressed by the way cashiers return change to customers.
I, too, am driven to distraction when given the paper before the coins. I end up flipping the bills between my fingers so that my palm is free for the coins, all the time hoping the cashier will get the idea for the next time.
I have on occasion requested that I be given the change first, but this tends to annoy the cashier and I don’t want to do that. I, too, thought that they should be educated to do this.Thus, I found it interesting that you prefer to receive change with the bills first. I’m glad to know that. Now I know different people have different views on the subject, and I won’t think the cashier just doesn’t know any better.
-Katherine in Woodstock, Ill.
Dear Katherine: Through letters from readers and inquiries with retailers, I think I’ve figured out how this whole thing evolved.
Before the advent of computerized cash registers, cashiers needed to count out a customer’s change.
If your item cost $1.10 and you paid with a $5 bill, the cashier would say, “Ninety cents makes $2 and three, four, five dollars makes five.” Change followed by bills.
Now the register tells the cashier to hand the customer $3.90. One, two, three dollars plus 90 cents.
Bills followed by coins.
I like the bills first because when I’m going through the fast-food drive-through, I have this idea that the coins help keep my bills from blowing away.
Whichever you prefer, there’s nothing wrong with politely asking a cashier, “Would you mind handing me my coins first? Thanks so much.” Who could resist that simple request, accompanied with a smile?
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
