Q: Hi Scott,
Recently, my boyfriend’s friend’s wife told him that she has a “crush” on him. This confession has to do with some type of marriage counseling she has been going through.
As an M.D. I support therapy, however, I am having serious trouble with this type of advice and the effect it is having on me.
At first it did not bother me; I am secure in my life and my relationship. However, she continues to call him and text message him several times a day.
I have confronted my boyfriend about this, and he agrees it is inappropriate and has asked her to stop calling. Despite his request, she continues to try and communicate with him.
I feel this behavior is very disrespectful to me and I am becoming more irritated and angered by her actions.
From time to time we attend the same functions, for she is still married to my boyfriend’s friend. I ignore her at these events, but sometimes think it may be better to confront her about her actions and let it be known that I don’t appreciate them.
I am usually very non-confrontational and don’t want to make a bigger situation than need be, however I don’t want to feel angered by this situation any longer.
What do you think, Scott?
– Somewhat Annoyed
SCOTT: You’re right, that is annoying. In fact, the idea of this going on and you being the helpless dignified person in the situation unnerves me.
I don’t know that confronting this strumpet woman would change anything, but I wonder how her husband feels about this! I’m sure not very good.
Honestly, I’m having a problem with this because it seems to me that unless she’s literally stalking him, that the messages would stop if they were truly going unanswered. I’m not sure that you’re convinced that it’s a one-way street of communication and maybe that’s why it bothers you (and me) so much.
Like I said, I don’t know that talking to her would help, but you still can’t let this go unaddressed.
Try this: send her husband a text message (or call) and ask if he can lend you a hand to get his wife to stop harassing your boyfriend.
Also, have your boyfriend change his cell number. If that doesn’t work, write me back and we’ll go to Plan B.