Dear Readers: A few weeks back, in response to a letter from “Not a Crafting Queen,” who inquired about what to do about her crafty friend’s handmade gifts, I asked readers to respond by telling me about their most hideous handmade gifts.
The results are in.
First we need to stipulate that every handmade gift is a thing of beauty in its own right. We don’t want to make fun of the people who create these treasures – but surely we can laugh at these peculiar creations.
Particular favorites of mine are the crocheted or knitted “spare toilet paper roll” holders. If there was a hall of fame of classic crafts, these items would have a display case all to themselves.
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Dear Amy: I’ve got a gem for you. My gal pal proudly presented me with a 5-foot-tall faux topiary shaped like a chicken. I accepted the chicken tree as graciously as I could.
I knew I would have to display this topiary when my friend came calling, and so I placed it on the front porch. My friend nodded approvingly, but she suggested that maybe I needed a “pair” of them, one on each side of the front door, to attain a more symmetrical balance. Let’s all pray that she forgets this idea.
– Christi
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Dear Amy: I have a very sweet mother-in-law who loves to make handicrafts. Angels, teddy bears and crocheted cows seem to be her top favorites to give as gifts.
The most hideous of them all was the brightly colored cow’s head made to sit on the back of the toilet and stuffed with the spare roll of toilet paper to maintain its shape.
– Anonymous
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Dear Amy: A friend of our family’s was way into crafts and made some beautiful things, but this one left us scratching our heads. She would wind yarn around the edges of a plastic flyswatter paddle, then weave plastic or silk flowers into the plastic meshwork.
I’m sorry to say that I used it to swat flies (after I removed the flowers, of course – they slowed it down).
– Aaron From Chicago
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Dear Amy: For my 12th birthday, my grandmother presented me with one of her projects as a gift. It was a purse made out of plastic milk jugs.
She cut the milk jugs up, punched holes in the plastic and then sewed them together with bright, multicolored yarn. The shoulder strap was made from the brass chain that you use to hang lamps from the ceiling.
It was the most hideous thing I’d ever seen. My mother still tells me about the priceless look on my face when I opened it, not to mention how I managed to show my grandmother my gratitude for working so hard on it and for thinking of me.
– Amy in Rockville, Md.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
