What can parents do to protect their children from sexual assault?
Telling children to look out for strangers isn’t enough, experts say, because cases where a child is abducted by an unknown person are rare. Most child victims of sexual assault are manipulated by people they know.
Children should learn some basics early, says Victoria Strong, who directs the Front Range Center for Assault Prevention.
Strong says parents should teach their children the difference between safe and unsafe touches and kisses, and that touches and kisses should never have to be kept secret; if someone says a touch or kiss should be a secret, that is the first clue it is unsafe and they need to tell an adult immediately; children should be in control of their bodies and decide for themselves who they let touch or kiss them; children need to learn the names of their genitals.
Strong says if children have this information potential perpetrators often will leave them alone and seek out the less-informed.
But Strong and other experts agree that educating very young children isn’t enough. Parents also should educate themselves, and pay careful attention to the people they entrust with their children.
Prevention educator Feather Berkower, who directs Parenting Safe Children, suggests that parents actively listen to children and stay involved in children’s lives; seek “teachable moments” – daily opportunities with children that make it easier to discuss body safety; supervise all children in the home; respect privacy of all family members; encourage children to share their feelings and experiences; model personal safety; encourage decision-making and give children the chance to say “No.”
“Most importantly,” Berkower said: “Give children an abundance of attention, love and affection.”
