Dear Amy: Members of my husband’s family have put a new twist on hosting parties, and I need a graceful way to handle the RSVPs.
I received an invitation in the mail today for a birthday party for all four of his cousin’s young children. At the bottom of the invitation it said, “This is a potluck. Please bring your favorite appetizer and whatever you’d like to drink.” Amy, we have received graduation party invitations, 21st-birthday party invitations and anniversary party invitations – all with the same request.
I am simply not interested in attending under these circumstances.
How should I handle this?
– Bewildered in Boston
Dear Bewildered: Some families love to get together frequently, and when they do the host provides the meat for grilling, and everything else is brought by other family members. Otherwise, they might not be able to host a large number of people.
Clearly, this isn’t your cup of tea. It’s fine to politely decline by saying, “Thanks for the invitation, but we won’t be able to make it.”
…
Dear Amy: I am a recent college graduate from Florida working as a full-time volunteer at a nonprofit organization that serves the homeless and formerly homeless in Washington, D.C. My volunteer year ends in July.
Three couples I know from college are getting married this summer back home.
I gladly bought plane tickets to attend the nuptials, but now I’m concerned about getting them gifts. I bought those tickets with money that I will not earn back any time soon.
I know that you have a year to buy a wedding gift, but would it be incredibly rude if I didn’t get them one at all?
– Worried Wedding Guest
Dear Worried: You do need to give gifts.
While you’re at these receptions, devote some time to taking candid photos of the couple and their guests.
Many couples feel that they miss their own weddings because they don’t witness some of the very moments that make their celebrations unique. Try to capture some of these. You also can briefly “interview” some friends and write down quotes.
When you get home, have the best photos processed and mount them – along with quotes from a few of their guests – in an album.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
