The new American dad shoulders more kid-related responsibilities than the papas of past generations. He burps. He cooks. He chauffeurs.
One of the fringe benefits of all that kid time is that the pups really know their pops’ desires.
Looking for evidence? Find it wrapped up and hand-delivered with a sentimental card Sunday morning.
Not ties. Not Old Spice. The coolest Father’s Day gifts include anything iPod and retro-chic concert tickets for shows such as the Genesis reunion tour, because those are the things Dad wants – and the kids, especially boys, know it.
“Teenage boys are spending more time with their dads these days, so they know when he wants an iPod,” said social psychologist Jean Twenge, author of “Generation Me,” a study of the “youth-quake” effect on American culture.
“Before spending so much time together, boys didn’t know what their father wanted, so they just went off to department stores,” she said. “They’re learning from each other because they’re spending time together.”
Daniel Sharner splurged for Father’s Day this year, buying an iPod with Mirage Omnivibe iPod speakers. His father, a United Airlines pilot, loves to restore classic cars in his free time and has a vast collection of ’50s and ’60s records.
“He was watching my brother (program) his iPod, and he got really into it,” said Sharner, assistant general manager of Ultimate Electronics on South Colorado Boulevard in Denver. “He’s such a gearhead. He thought it was wild.”
Twenge said the cultural shift has blurred the lines between man and boy.
“At one time, it was considered a good thing to look and act 40 years old, particularly for men,” she said. “Now if you’re 40, you’re supposed to act and dress more like you’re 25 or 30.”
Dads can be kids again
Dad used to be the guy in the gray flannel suit. Now, in our youth-loving culture of individuality, dads have options.
“Now the goal is to wear jeans and look cool,” Twenge said.
Sneakers, iPhones, concert DVDs and “I Like Sex” T-shirts referencing the comedic character Borat. Boys’ toys? More like mandatory accoutrements for today’s stylish dads.
“I think a lot of it has to do with not growing up,” said Craig Boreth, 38, author of “How to Be Manly in a Minivan,” a parenting book for dads. “But I think a lot of times, men are accused of not growing up in general, when in reality they’ve not grown up in a few specific ways.”
The fathers of our fathers, he observes, weren’t in the delivery room during the birth of their children, and they didn’t have wives who breast-fed in public.
“They went to work, came home and had dinner waiting for them,” Boreth said. “There’s been a huge shift in one generation. I think it’s a pretty fair trade to have men more involved and being sensitive fathers where it counts, and let them balance that off by being silly, immature kids in other, less-significant ways.”
Sneakers – the barometer of street cred for cool dads – are flying out the door at The 400, a Denver retailer that specializes in limited-edition sneakers.
“Vans sneakers do a good job of crossing (generational lines),” said owner Randy Kleiner. “They’re a very old brand that any dad with skateboarding heritage in his blood will quickly recognize, and it’s a very relevant brand in the market for kids.”
And don’t forget the purple Pumas.
“Really aggressive colors and interesting fabrics make them new, fresh and young,” he said. “When I first played basketball, the Puma Clyde was classic. We all wore them when we were younger, and now they’re out with snakeskin materials.”
“Son’s Day, maybe”
Just before Father’s Day, as hordes rushed to electronics stores for iPods and MP3 players for Dad, two teenage boys stood in the middle of a Best Buy store, hip-thrusting and head-tossing, as they racked up points on Guitar Hero II, the new video game for rock- star wannabes.
They are not, exactly, shopping for Father’s Day. “Son’s Day, maybe,” joked Matt Gleason, 19, whippet-thin with tousled hair.
This is definitely not a gift for his dad. “He’s not a good video-gamer,” Gleason said. “We play baseball on Xbox, and I usually beat him pretty badly.”
Studies show that 35 percent of parents play computer and video games, but they don’t detail wins and losses.
Gleason said CDs are a better bet. “Music is the common ground,” he said of the interest he shares with his dad. “He still likes CDs. He’s not into computer music.”
Whit Childs, on the other hand, planned to buy his dad a set of noise- control headphones, something the 18 year old himself owns, albeit without the anti-noise function. “He travels a lot, and he likes to listen to music.”
Over at the Virgin Megastore on the 16th Street Mall, buyer Michael Murphy, 26, said he’ll purchase his father a CD by Dropkick Murphys, the Celtic punk band from Boston.
“When I was little, he liked the Young Dubliners,” Murphy said. “So I introduced him to the Dropkick Murphys, and he likes them a lot.”
Observing the Father’s Day rush, Murphy sees lots of people buying the new Bruce Springsteen DVD, “Live in Dublin,” for their dads.
There is a drawback to all this understanding, though: Any teenage son who buys his dad, say, the new Springsteen DVD or the $89 Gibson guitar Target is touting for dads would be happy to borrow it. Frequently, and perhaps forever.
Staff writer Colleen O’Connor can be reached at 303-954-1083 or coconnor@denverpost.com.
Popping for pop
According to the National Retail Federation, U.S. consumers were expected to spend about $9.9 billion on Father’s Day this year.
Dads, what are you going to get?
69.9% greeting card
42.7% dinner
37.1% apparel
29.9% gift card
17.8% electronics
FATHER’S DAY HISTORY
Sonora Dodd of Spokane, Wash., dreamed up the idea of Father’s Day in 1909 while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon. She wanted to honor her father, a Civil War veteran who raised six children alone after his wife died. The first Father’s Day was celebrated June 19, 1910, in Spokane. It wasn’t until 1972 that a public law was signed to permanently designate the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day.
The dad details
Sonora Dodd of Spokane, Wash., dreamed up the idea of Father’s Day in 1909 while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon. She wanted to honor her father, a Civil War veteran who raised six children alone after his wife died. The first Father’s Day was celebrated June 19, 1910, in Spokane. It wasn’t until 1972 that a public law was signed to permanently designate the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day.
Who are today’s dads? Here’s what the U.S. census knows about them:
64.3 million Estimated number of fathers in the U.S.
159,000 Estimated number of stay-at-home dads in 2006. These fathers cared for 283,000 children.
26.5 million Number of fathers who are part of married-couple families with children younger than 18 in 2006.
2.5 million Number of single fathers in 2006, up from 400,000 in 1970. Currently, among single parents living with their children, 19 percent are men.
30 percent Percentage of children younger than 6 living with married parents in 2003 who ate breakfast with their father every day.
63 percent Percentage of children younger than 6 living with married parents and praised three or more times a day by their fathers. The corresponding percentage of children living with unmarried fathers was 57 percent.
Source: Census.gov
