“Why do the print media, radio and TV folks give Rockies first baseman Todd Helton a free pass? His skills diminish every year, yet everyone plays the ‘Poor Todd’ card and bemoans the fact he might not win a World Series. He’s the reason this club isn’t going to the playoffs. What’s he making, almost $17 million per year? That’s more than 100K per game, and he has hit 12 home runs. Helton is barely above journeyman status.”
Mark, Denver
Kiz: Hey, who gave you permission to borrow my poison pen? I refuse to throw Helton under the bus, because he was the engine that drove this team’s offense for so very long. But there is a school of thought that the Rockies should move Garrett Atkins to first base and bribe another club with millions of dollars to take Helton in trade – which would only give our local baseball ownership a new excuse to cry about its limited, small-market budget for putting talented players in a Colorado uniform.
Rockies on right track
“I am frustrated with the Rockies, but I don’t see any specific things that could be done to fix the team. I do like the kids. I think we should trade Atkins, only because I like Ian Stewart. What’s left? A new manager? Jim Leyland proved a manager with great credentials can fail, too. I think the Rockies are on the right track. They will have to get lucky and have a homegrown ace show up, or trip across an unexpectedly good trade for a pitcher.”
Mark, Lakewood
Kiz: For their next big personnel move, maybe the Rockies could swing a mascot deal, swapping Dinger for Kool-Aid Man. Because the faithful who believe there’s nothing to do except wait for pure, dumb luck are drinking that purple juice faster than general manager Dan O’Dowd can pour it. He has been hoping to stumble across a playoff berth for eight years. Oh, yeah!
Man overboard!
“I grew up only a few blocks from Forbes Field. Do you know where that is? I had the great honor to see Roberto Clemente, baseball’s last hero, play the game. It offends me when you refer to the Pittsburgh Pirates as ‘lowly.’ Maybe we can find another way to describe a team that struggles.”
Kevin, Steel City proud
Kiz: Yo ho ho. Please step slowly away from that bottle of rum, Bucco. I love Pittsburgh, one of America’s most underappreciated cities. Know Forbes Field? I recall ushers brushing away steel-mill soot before a scrawny boy took a seat and caught grief from Mom for getting his jeans dirty. But the Pirates have not had a winning season since 1992. Instead of lowly, perhaps your Pirate ship should be described as wretched. Or rudderless. Or sunk.
Passing it on
“That column on John Elway coaching his son at Cherry Creek High School made me weepy. Thanks.”
Hal, Broncos fan
Kiz: Grab a tissue, my good man. Of course, some people claim my columns have been making Broncos fans cry for years, not to mention spit out their morning coffee.
Parting shot
And today’s parting shot is a double-barrel blast at any ink-stained wretch who dares to upset a loyal Broncomaniac.
“The two worst sports columnists on Earth write for the same paper I’m inclined to read for Broncos news. But don’t worry, Kiz, you own Woody Paige in a contest for terribleness. Presumably, you’re not stupid enough – although that’s probably a stretch – to formalize a conclusive (negative) opinion about D.J. Williams as a middle linebacker after a handful of practices and two preseason games. In closing: Please move.”
Aaron, New York
