In the beginning, God created heaven and Earth.
Then he created a few more things, including men, women and children.
And right after he saw what slobs people can be, he created slipcovers. To which they said: Hallelujah! Now that’s divine intervention.
Your sofa looks as if it’s been center ring in a dog fight. Your clumsy cousin spills red wine on the silk dining room chair. That light floral chintz armchair doesn’t seem seasonal now that it’s fall. Don’t pitch a fit or the furniture – slipcover!
Unlike Watergate, blemish concealer and beach sarongs, these coverups really work. Slipcovers successfully mask ugliness, change with the seasons, go in the wash, and keep the woman of the house from screaming, “You eat that on my sofa and you’ll go live with the wolves!” Which is why I recommend slipcovers in lieu of Prozac.
I came to this opinion early in life. My aunt had a beautiful home, but her living room might as well have had a cord across the door. No one was allowed near her lemon yellow sofas. We were to stand at the door and look. Much as I’ve always wanted a beautiful home, I’ve also always wanted a house I could live in with this menagerie I call a family.
I recently thought about slipcovers as household blessings as I chatted with Elaine Ellis, owner of I Do Slipcovers, a busy workroom in Englewood where I’d just dropped off two well-worn chairs for slipcover rehab.
Ellis didn’t seem to mind that I’d hoisted myself on her worktable and started asking questions.
“There’s a personality that goes with a slipcover,” she said. “They’re not for everyone. The slipcover person is more forgiving, accepting and relaxed.”
Unlike my aunt, I thought, then realized I didn’t fit the profile either. I’m more tightly wound than a corkscrew. Slipcovers actually help me be more relaxed and forgiving. Otherwise, if the dogs put their muddy paws on the silk settee, the kids eat cherry Popsicles on the linen sofa, or a party guest drips chocolate fondue on the easy chair, my hair stands up like porcupine quills.
If any of those accidents happens on a slipcover, I say, “Pish, I can toss it in the wash.” Like I said: Divine intervention.
Join me next week as we uncover the best furniture and slipcover fabrics, and the ones to avoid.
Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist who lives in the Denver area. You may contact her through .
Tips on making best use of slipcovers
If you’re thinking of putting your furniture under wraps, here’s what else to consider:
Slipcovers are not for every home. If you like a tight and right formal look, stick with upholstered furniture. Slipcovers also don’t work in commercial settings, which are all about business. They are great in less-formal homes, particularly ones with rustic, country or traditional styles.
Slipcovers are not for all furniture. Slipcovers are ideal for well-made, often-used furniture. Don’t slipcover cheap furniture. Invest the money in a new piece instead. (To test whether a sofa or chair is well made, try to wiggle the arm using both your hands. If the arm moves, the frame is poorly made. If it doesn’t budge, chances are you have a well-made item.)
Slipcovers also don’t work on leather pieces, because the slipcover slides around, and they don’t fit barrel-back chairs well.
If the piece has back cushions, it’s best if they’re removable, not attached.
Refresh those cushions. Don’t worry if cushions are shot. A good slipcover maker can revive cushions by either wrapping them in Dacron, having them refeathered or getting new foam. But don’t slipcover a piece with dead springs. Hint: When you sit down, you need to be airlifted out.
Know your options. Slipcovers come ready-made, semi-custom or custom (cheap, medium or expensive). Off-the-shelf slipcovers won’t fit precisely but will refresh your furniture, and usually come with ties to adjust the fit. For a semi-custom cover, you send furniture measurements to a manufacturer who makes a slipcover. These fit better. However, you’ll get the best fit from a custom slipcover that a fabricator sews with the furniture in hand.
Details make the job. If you can, spring for contrasting welt (piping), varied fabrics and clever closures, such as bows and buttons. These make the difference between ordinary and custom.
When choosing a fabricator, first inspect the work. Inside seams should be serged (edges overstitched). Welting should be cut on the bias (diagonally), so fabric doesn’t unravel. Outer seams should tuck into furniture crevices, so they don’t show. Finally, a good slipcover should fit like a well-tailored blouse; it shouldn’t pull, look stretched or sag.
Find a slipcover studio near you at . Just click on the directory for experts in your area.
