Dear Amy: My 24-year-old daughter is in jail for the third time.
Her son is 14 months old.
When he was a baby she had to go to jail on weekends, and being a baby he really had no idea she was gone.
She didn’t straighten out and had to go to jail for six months starting in November.
The thing is, she wants me to bring her son for a visit at the jail. She couldn’t hold or even touch him. Visits are in a glassed-in booth. I think it’s a bad idea to take the baby under these circumstances.
The baby will go bonkers not being able to have his mother touch him. I can predict a total meltdown.
Do you think I am wrong to say, “Do your time, and see your son when you get out”? — Concerned Grandma
Dear Concerned: You should double-check with the facility to see if there are any opportunities for personal contact between your daughter and her child.
If not, I agree that visiting his mother in jail may be more traumatic for your grandchild than the adjustment he will be making to life without his mother.
I hope that your continued support, along with the incentive to be a decent parent, helps to transform your daughter’s life. In the meantime, be the parent your grandson deserves to have in his young life.
Dear Amy: Recently, you sent out a challenge to readers, responding to the desire of so many people to live their days free of crying children or barking dogs.
I live in a multi-age, multi- ethnic condo where kids hold the door open for me, and I hold the door open for mothers with babies.
I’d like to remind your readers that if you are 60 today, you will be 80 in 20 years. You may be driving a car and have an accident that results in a trip to the hospital. The paramedics in the ambulance were kids 20 years ago. The intern in the examining room was a kid 20 years ago. The police officer deciding whether to write a ticket was probably a noisy kid on a skateboard 20 years ago.
So, take a chance on being nice; you never know who might remember you 20 or 30 years from now. — Lori in Minneapolis
Dear Lori: That’s the spirit!
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