Marriage and fine china go together. I mean, what single person has fancy dishes?
The moment you get engaged, which I did the first time at the nearly-illegal age of 22, everyone makes a fuss and hustles you down to the nearest department store to “register.” There, a gray-haired lady with glasses on a cord squires you through the selection process. You’re to pick the dishes, crystal and silverware you will love till death do you part, although your taste is as developmentally advanced as a polliwog.
My first attempt at marriage ended after four years. Afterward, I wound up with: enough humility to make Donald Trump seem grounded; a great macaroni and cheese recipe; and the wedding china, 12 five-piece place settings.
Now I know some women look sentimentally at their china and gush about all the family meals it has seen them through. I have no such warm feelings. I long ago outgrew the pattern, silver-rimmed with a band of pink and baby-blue roses. Second, I harbor no romantic notions about handing the set down. I can think of no circumstance when saying “and here’s some china I can’t stand that came from my first failed marriage to a man you never met” would sound meaningful.
Husband No. 2 came to the table with no china and no feelings about it And, because buying new felt like an extravagance, we’ve used the same china for the past 20 years.
That’s changing.
My fine-china breakthrough came last spring. While on vacation with three girlfriends, I did something no woman could do with kids and a husband around — shopped for china. My friends and I played a game of “If I Had to Do It Over” and picked what we would get today now that we know better. We really had no intention of buying. Honest.
My new china is solid ivory with a beaded rim. It has square plates, a country French flair, can be fancy or casual and is microwave and dishwasher safe. I can’t wait for Thanksgiving, when, for the first time in two decades, I will host dinner on china I love.
While I admire people who get love and china right the first time, for me it took two tries each and 20 years.
Fortunately, some things improve with age. Judgment is one of them. Taste is another.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo). You may contact her through .
Dishing it out
The latest merchandising trends in home stores and magazines have expanded the idea of how an elegant table can look, according to Robin Long, spokeswoman for Replacements Ltd. of North Carolina, a major supplier of old and new china. “Examples no longer come just from grandma’s table,” Long says. But that doesn’t make choosing china any easier. Here are some things to consider when selecting or replacing your formal dishware.
Know your terms. China refers to all types of dishware, from fine to casual. Fine or formal china is typically bone (which has actual bone ash in it— don’t ask) or porcelain. These dishes are thinner and translucent but also stronger and more expensive. Everyday china is heavier and more porous, typically earthenware or stoneware. Many people think fine china is more fragile, so they use it less. In fact, because it has been fired more, porcelain and bone china are more durable and chip-resistant than casual dishes.
Note the trend. Women today don’t feel they must have everyday dishes and fine china for special occasions. Many choose one versatile pattern. China manufacturers have responded by offering crossover patterns: dishware made of fine porcelain but designed with more casual shapes and decorations.
Go simple. If you want china for the long haul, select a plain or traditional pattern: solid white or ivory, either plain or with a gold, silver or cobalt blue band, or a simple edge detail. Change the mood of your table with linens, placemats, flowers and accents. Almost every dishware manufacturer has a solid design because they recognize that customers want flexibility, Long says.
Avoid bold patterns. Because dishware follows fashion trends, manufacturers come out with lines in the color du jour. This year, majestic colors are big, so you’ll see dishware in royal purple. Don’t fall for it. Also, picture how food will look on the plate. Many purists believe food looks less appetizing on a busily patterned background.
Mix it up. Another trend is to buy one mainstay pattern, then have a set of holiday or festive accent pieces. “You don’t have to get 12 place settings of Spode Christmas Tree,” Long says. “If you have plain china, add holiday salad plates and a couple of serving pieces to transform the table.” At Thanksgiving, for instance, mix in a few pieces or a serving platter of Johnson Brothers’ “His Majesty.”
Fill the gaps. If you’ve inherited a pattern you love that is incomplete, fill in what’s missing. Companies like Replacements can help if your pattern is discontinued or pieces are hard to find.
Stuck? If you can’t afford the cost or cupboard space for new china, consider selling your old dishes on eBay or to Replacements (if they’re buying your pattern). You can apply the proceeds toward something you just might love till death do you part.
