Ho, ho, holy cow, is it Christmas already?
Hard to believe, but the jolly old elf touches down in just four days. That means it’s time to doff the journalist’s cap, replace it with a red fuzzy Santa Claus hat and hand out a few gifts to our Colorado politicians.
They give so much to editorial writers all year long, it’s important to give something back.
Same rules apply as always: The list includes those who have been naughty and nice. (We wouldn’t have much of a list if we left off those who have been naughty, especially in an election year.) And these gifts don’t even fall under Amendment 41’s gift ban.
So if you’re a political junkie,
Pull up a yule log and pass the good cheer
As we salute those politicos
We followed all year:
For Gov. Bill Ritter, a copy of the new book “How Not to Choose a New U.S. Senator,” by Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich.
As a stocking stuffer for the guv (and just to make his selection a little easier), we’ll toss in Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper‘s cellphone number.
For Hickenlooper, the “Guide to Brewpubs in Washington, D.C.,” and a two-year pass for the Metro rail system.
For House Minority Leader Mike May, who wanted to retire from the state legislature but decided to stick around amid rumors that lobbyists were trying to influence the election of his successor, U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald‘s “How to Stop a Scandal Spy Kit, Junior Edition.”
For ousted state Rep. Bernie Buescher, keys to the secretary of state’s office and a hardbound copy of our 12,984 editorials lambasting the past three secretaries for partisan maneuvering.
For ousted state Rep. Douglas Bruce, “Miss Manners’ Guide To Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.” I haven’t read it, but I’m guessing she frowns on kicking photographers during prayers. Excuse me, “nudging” photographers.
For outgoing House Speaker Andrew Romanoff, any job in public service. Taxpayers, you’re getting your money’s worth with this guy.
For state Sen. Josh Penry, a few frown lines. The leader of the statehouse Brat Pack needs at least the appearance of age to go along with his wisdom if he’s going to convince voters he’s a serious gubernatorial candidate in 2010.
For Senate runner-up Bob Schaffer, a seven-figure salary from Conoco-Phillips or EnCana. If you’re going to be tarred as Big Oil Bob, you might as well take some of their cash.
For Congresswoman-elect Betsy Markey, a campaign free of 527 ads. (That’s actually a gift for all of us who watch TV, too.)
For University of Colorado regent Tom Lucero, who’s already filed paperwork to run against Markey before she’s served even one day in the seat, the good sense not to start sending us press releases.
For former Gov. Bill Owens, a gross of “Owens for Senate in 2010” bumper stickers. C’mon, admit it, you’d love to see an Owens-Hickenlooper matchup.
For Sen.-elect Mark Udall, formerly known as Boulder Liberal Mark Udall, a big white, moderate- to-conservative-looking cowboy hat. (Hey, it worked for incoming Interior Secretary Ken Salazar.)
Finally, for Sen. Salazar, a hat rack and the good sense his mother gave him to take his hat off when he’s indoors.
When he made Barack Obama share the stage with his 10-gallon Stetson last week, even some Westerners cringed. According to , cowboy hats should come off during the national anthem; when you go into a building; when you are being introduced to someone, especially if it is a woman; when you begin a conversation; and when attending a funeral.
And we’ll add: when you’re standing next to the president-elect.
Editorial page editor Dan Haley can be reached at dhaley@denverpost.com.
