Dear Amy: This year my cucumber plants produced more cukes than I could eat myself, so I brought some to work to share. My e-mail to the group said, “help yourself.” There were enough cucumbers for everyone if each person took only one. However, some people took more than one — one person took four; another took three. I was surprised because it seemed obvious to me that a person shouldn’t take that many.
I’d like to be able to do this again, but I already feel bad that some people didn’t get any cucumbers. Should I ask around and see if I can bring more for those who were deprived? Should I specify in the future that people should take only one cucumber until everyone has had a chance to take one? This has taken some of the fun out of sharing with people, and I’d appreciate your guidance. — Confused Co-worker
Dear Confused: My colleague Randy’s wife provides delicious baked goods for everyone in our department to share; these are placed in a common area along with a sign inviting people to help themselves. The understanding is that this is a “first come, first serve” situation; lucky people get there early, and dieters give the table a wide berth.
Don’t overthink this, and don’t police your colleagues. Bring in your cukes, send out the e-mail, and if you are concerned about some people hogging more than their share of the produce, post a sign saying, “Please limit yourself to two.” (No one can eat just one.) Fortunately for your colleagues, tomato season is just around the corner.
Dear Amy: You’ve run some letters about adults heckling young sports umpires. I’ve been there.
When I was a young softball umpire, I took a strikeout pitch straight to the groin while standing behind the plate.
As I was doubled over in pain, I saw an adult rush from the stands and come straight at me. I straightened and drew in a breath to assure him that I was OK, just as he indignantly declared, “No way was that a strike! It was low and inside!” And that’s the story of how I perfected my icy stare. — G
Dear G: Without making the obvious pun — thank you for letting us in on the secret behind so many icy stares.
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