Dear Amy: I would like some advice about how to let friends and family know that I would not like any pictures of my family posted on Facebook or any other social networking site.
What the heck is the best way to do this without sounding like a freak? — Concerned
Dear Concerned: I remember back at the dawn of Facebook when I advocated in this space for the concept of “permission” regarding the posting of photos.
Oh, how naive I was.
Now I’m on Facebook myself, and I know better.
Ask people in your circle not to post photos of your family on social networking sites. Your friends won’t think you’re a freak; they’ll think you’re being unrealistic.
The people in your personal circle of actual “friends” may go to great lengths to respect your wishes — but then there are your kids’ friends; their teammates; their teammates’ moms and their teammate’s mom’s sister-in-law, Brenda, who took awesome pictures of the kids during their last game and has posted and “tagged” all the children in the photos.
Join these social networking sites yourself. This is the best way to patrol what photos are floating around. Then you can attempt to control them, by removing “tags” or asking people to pull photos down.
Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for two years. He used to be loving and affectionate. Now, his affection has waned.
I’ve tried to revive some affection on my own, but without any luck.
He says that things change over time. He says I have changed, becoming too clingy and trying too hard!
I know things can’t stay the same forever, but he still maintains his chipper personality and affection with friends — but not with me.
He says he loves me and sometimes talks about our future (other times he says he feels pressured). I’m getting mixed signals.
It’s become a huge point of contention between us. I can be over-emotional, especially when stressed, but he used to be much more caring, compassionate and understanding.
Part of me wants to wait it out to see if it’s just a rut. Another part of me wants to cut ties now.
I’m 23, he’s 28, and we see each other only on the weekends.
What do you think I should do? — Love-Stuck
Dear Stuck: Your boyfriend is right when he says that “things change over time.”
Things do change — and when a committed couple loves each other, things often change for the better.
You should make any decisions about your future based on the idea that your boyfriend will remain slippery on the commitment front.
The only thing you can do is also the best thing to do, which is to work on your own behavior. You sound eager to push this relationship into permanency, and your boyfriend’s actions indicate that he is just as eager to avoid it.
Stop pushing, and he might stop pulling away. Take a breather, and reassess the dynamic between you.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
