Sending a child off to college offers a boatload of challenges: the up-and-down emotions of an emptying nest, worries about literally and figuratively making the grade, the shock of the new.
But as anyone writing big checks to Whatever U. knows, the big issue is money. Specifically, how to make it last.
And that’s one worry parents and children generally share.
For many young people, college marks the first time that they must handle their own budgets, often with little direct oversight from the parental units.
The goal is to keep the kids supplied with textbooks and Top Ramen, with just enough left over to pursue the same wholesome entertainment that their parents engaged in at that age.
Some preparation and a regular dialogue can help smooth the way and prevent monetary meltdowns. Frank communication — money doesn’t grow on trees, and the economy is in the toilet — is critical. So is a big dose of patience. In a stunning turn of events, they are the age you were once.
“Parents need to make clear what they can afford and what they’re willing to support,” says Helen Johnson, co-author of “Don’t Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years. “This gives a child a good sense of what their parents have and are willing to spend.
“Parents are usually well-versed about tuition, room and board, but the out-of-pocket expenses can take them by surprise.”
Campus lifestyles vary, and not just among individual students. Urban schools tend to offer far more ways to spend pocket money than rural ones. “And there’s always peer pressure to go out and have dinner or go away for the weekend,” says Johnson, who directed parents’ programs at Cornell University and the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill before becoming a consultant.
Johnson says it’s good to get started talking about money in a student’s junior or senior year of high school. “That gets them used to managing discretionary funds,” she says.
Terry Sicotte of Boulder has a son attending the University of Colorado; he lives on campus rather than at home.
“Forrest and I made a deal,” Sicotte says. “I’ll pay for his tuition and rent. He pays for everything else: food, utilities, gas, books and party money.”
Forrest works 20 hours a week during the school year and more during the summer and holidays. He takes one vacation a year — a long weekend.
He does have a car, an older model his father gave him. Sicotte pays for his son’s insurance and auto- maintenance bills. He also set up a debit account to deposit his paychecks. He doesn’t have a credit card.
So far, Sicotte says, the money- management has gone well. “He has learned from his mother the value of coupons, which he despised when he was in high school,” Sicotte notes with some wryness.
The credit-card question is a tricky one. Johnson estimates that about 80 percent of college students have credit cards and that nearly half of them have four or more cards, with an average credit- card debt of $3,000.
Credit cards can be convenient for students, but parents should monitor them carefully to make sure they limit the debt that’s racked up on them. And if you co-sign on a credit card, your child needs to be aware of how a poor credit rate can affect everyone — them and you.
Just like their adult counterparts, kids can harbor different views on money, even if they’re siblings.
“Like many families, we had one son who was very conservative with money and didn’t have a wild and crazy social life, and our other son was just the opposite,” Johnson says.
Johnson has positive things to say about the experience of holding down a job during the school year.
Students with part-time jobs often find it a “very efficient time- management tool,” since it forces them to allocate time for work and study. But she recommends that the job not take more than 10-12 hours a week. “Working 20 or more hours a week intrudes on study time,” she says.
Work-study arrangements can also be a good way for students to stay connected to a grounded adult community, but she counsels that a student should wait until at least the second semester of their freshman year to get a job.
College is more than a time for students to learn about themselves and lay the ground for a viable career. It’s also a time to learn how to operate independently. In this age of “helicopter parenting” — the term Johnson uses for hovering parents who bail their kids out of every jam — that can be tough.
But money management is one of the key components of growing up and attaining adult responsibility, though certainly some adults never do.
Keep the phone and e-mail lines open, Johnson advises.
“I think the main message is to keep talking about financial issues as your kid goes through college,” she says. “You want to teach them how to be independent.”
William Porter: 303-954-1877 or wporter@denverpost.com
How to educate your college-bound kid about money
Here are a few tips on helping your child manage a day-to-day budget while at college, courtesy of Helen Johnson, co-author of “Don’t Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years.”
• Start talking about money no later than students’ junior or senior year of high school. That helps them get used to managing discretionary funds.
• Talk frankly with your children about how much money you have to spend, and what, if any, expectations you have about their contribution.
• Working and attending school can mix. If possible, limit the job to 10-12 hours a week. And students should wait until the second semester of their freshman year to find a job so they can settle into the routine and find out how much study time they need.
• Credit cards are useful for students, but parents should monitor them carefully to make sure they limit the debt they rack up.
• Also, talk to your child about how a poor credit rating can affect them down the line.
• If you co-sign on a credit card, the child needs to be aware that your own credit rating is on the line. Also, talk with them about credit- card scams and how to avoid them. They should avoid unsolicited credit-card offers, including those pitched by solicitors on the quad.
• Talking about money with your child is not a one-time event. Keep it going.
• E-mail, cellphones, texting and Skype have sent the amount of money that students once spent on long-distance calls plummeting, but there still must be an understanding of who foots the cellphone bills.
• If your child spends a lot of money on personal-care products, buy them in bulk at home.
• Check with your insurance company to make sure your child’s pricey electronic equipment is covered under your policy. Consider getting replacement value coverage, which typically adds little to your policy’s cost.
• Many schools offer credit card-like privileges at campus stores with the student ID card. Be clear about what you will and won’t pay for under this arrangement.
• Teach your college-bound kid how to cook a few basic meals. Casseroles are a good way to stretch food dollars.
Many colleges offer students financial advice. Check out CU’s website at bursar.colorado.edu/cumoneysense
A harvest of tips from our crop of interns
College freshmen get all kinds of advice, but we wanted to share insight from those who know the ropes: Some Denver Post summer interns.
Try something new. College is all about doing things that you’ve never done before. Join an organization, like the sky-diving club or the kite-flying society. Take classes outside your major that sound fun to you, like barefoot running. Go to a school event or performance that you would never go to; there will be numerous ones to choose from. Megan Capinegro; Ball State University; graduates in December
Don’t skip classes just because they are boring or inconvenient. It will come back to haunt you. Don’t ever believe people who say high school is the best time of your life because college definitely is. Quin Loendorf; University of Montana; graduates in May 2012
College is just the beginning. Concentrate on getting involved with things you like, and don’t be afraid to admit to yourself that what you thought you wanted to do might not be what you thought. The sooner you accept that, the happier you’ll be. Find a way to study abroad. There are programs out there to fit everyone’s financial and personal needs. You only get one chance to do this — to travel to a different place and learn about its people and culture while still in school. Analisa Romano, University of Colorado at Boulder; graduated in May
Most of the life lessons you learn in college will be from triumphs and mistakes made outside of the classroom. So go out on weekends, meet everyone in your hall and learn the responsibility that comes with living on your own. That being said, go to class every day. Skipping class creates a slippery slope of complacency. Too many students drop out of school not because they’re not smart enough, but because they get lost or behind. Call your parents. They’ve been fretting over you for 18 years and will appreciate check-ins. Plus, they should get updates on the life experience for which they’re probably paying a hefty sum. Finally, work out. The freshman 15 is sneaky and just the average (I suffered from freshman 30). Ken Contrata, University of Arizona; graduated in May
Pack light. Although it’s difficult to know exactly what you’ll need and what you don’t, you’re safer if you bring less. Once you unpack everything into your tiny dorm room, you’ll soon realize you don’t even have enough space for all your stuff. Plus, it will make packing up much easier — so you can spend more time with your new best friends instead of trying to cram all your clothes into boxes. Katie McInerney, Syracuse University; graduates in May
Don’t stress about not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life. Find something you’re passionate about and make it your career — even if there’s no money in it. If you’re going to be broke, at least you’re doing something you love. Weston Phippen, Arizona State University; graduates May 2012
