Dear Amy: My fiance and I are getting married in six months. He comes from an extremely wealthy family, but is considerably wealthy in his own right.
We had already begun to make financial plans when his parents insisted that we get a prenuptial agreement.
I believe that a prenuptial agreement completely devalues a marriage. My fiance and I decided against it and informed his parents. They then threatened to cut off my fiance’s inheritance if we didn’t sign a prenup.
I hate that they’re controlling us like this. Should I accept that they’re going to cut off the inheritance and stick to my principles? Or should I disregard my values and sign the papers? — Anxious
Dear Anxious: I’m not sure how prenups “devalue” marriage, but many couples do find it challenging to basically plan for divorce while they are also planning their “happy-ever-after.”
However, prenups give couples a rock-solid reason to review assets and financial plans, spending habits and budgeting practices. I highly recommend complete financial disclosure and financial counseling for marrying couples.
This dust-up provides an opportunity for both of you to assert your dominion over your own lives and future.
If your fiance’s parents are pulling the purse strings tight now, you can assume that they will resort to the “nuclear option” of disinheritance at other times during your marriage — unless he demonstrates that his parents can’t control him in this way.
I assume your future in- laws are worried that money they would leave to their son might land in the shared marital asset category after their death, but surely they have the ability to plan their estate around this possibility.
Dear Amy: I know of a family that has a new 16-year-old driver. Our state law says that anyone under the age of 18 must not have any passengers in the car other than a parent or guardian.
The new 16-year-old driver doesn’t care what the law says and always has at least four passengers in the car. Why don’t parents care? Why aren’t parents concerned with the law?
How and why would teens follow the law when their parents don’t enforce these rules?
Should I just mind my own business and hope that this child is never in an accident involving a carload of kids?
— Sixteen Is too Young
Dear Young: When my daughter was in high school, police officers occasionally stationed themselves outside the school gates to monitor the passenger content of exiting cars driven by teenagers.
This very common-sense statute is intended to protect young drivers, their passengers and the rest of us who have to share the road with them.
If you call the parents, they will either be concerned or not; you have nothing to lose by notifying them. The school can also forcefully advocate for compliance.
Now that you are aware of this disregard for the law, you should emphasize to your own kids (if you have them) how important it is to comply (as drivers and passengers) with this lifesaving law.
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