Twice when I was a child, my parents surprised my brother and me with a pet. When I was 8, it was a puppy at Christmas. And when I was 13, a kitten, several months after a beloved cat had died.
We always had a dog or a cat, or both, in the house, and those pets were completely woven into the fabric of our family life. But of all of the pets that came and went, though, the two I remember most were the ones Mom and Dad sprung on us. Being a kid, I figured they had stopped somewhere on a whim and picked up the new animal on the way home.
Now I know better.
My husband and I surprised our own children with a kitten a few years ago, much to their delight. Our kids didn’t know that we spent many evenings weighing the pros and cons of getting a cat. I had lived with cats my entire life, but I read “Cats for Dummies” and found out how much I didn’t know.
We visited the shelter and played with several animals before choosing one. Then we waited a week for our application to be approved, and for her to be spayed. There was a lot that went into her popping her little head out of a picnic basket one Saturday morning and worming her way into all of our hearts.
The right pet in the right home can be one of the best experiences you can give your child. But the wrong pet at the wrong time can lead to a heartbreaking disaster for everyone, including the animal.
Figure out what you want
“We always suggest that a family fill in the blank to this question: ‘It’s most important to me that my dog/cat . . .’ — not what he looks like, but how he behaves, his interactions with you, how he loves you, does he sit on your lap, or that he doesn’t pull on his leash,” said Emily Weiss, the vice president for shelter research and development for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
“It’s always love at first sight, but knowing your expectations can help assure that that love at first sight stays a lasting love.”
Weiss said research shows that owners and their pets bond best when the owner has a clear idea of what he wants from his pet.
Lisa LaFontaine, chief executive of the Washington Humane Society, agreed that it is crucial to have that conversation with the adopting agency before bringing a new pet home.
“The first question is why are you looking for a pet and what’s important to you about the role they play in your life and what things do you want to do with them,” LaFontaine said.
For us, those expectations were more of a hope: We wanted our new cat to bond with our children and be a family pet.
And Scout, now 4, is definitely a family girl. She is always right in the middle of everything and loves to curl up with the kids while they are watching television or sleeping.
Make research specific
It’s important to research the type of animal you’re considering and to make sure you’re getting information from a reputable source, said Gregory Costanzo, a veterinarian with Stahl Exotic Animal Veterinary Service in Fairfax, Va.
If you are searching on the Internet, make sure the information you are getting comes from a veterinarian or legitimate rescue or shelter, he said.
Costanzo suggests making an appointment to talk to a veterinarian before you adopt. Many rescue organizations offer classes on caring for specific breeds or types of animals, Costanzo said.
Finally, before you bring your new pet home, have a family plan in place for caring for it. That needs to include everything from where you will take it for routine or emergency medical care to who is going to feed it, clean up after it and make sure it gets the appropriate exercise.
Weiss said the entire family should visit the pet before adoption day, particularly if there are young children in the home.
“Watch the behavior of the dog or cat,” Weiss said. “If it’s choosing to approach your child and engage in a safe way, that’s a great sign.”
