Getting your player ready...
Dear J.T. & DALE: I got fired for drawing an inappropriate cartoon at work. (Male private parts were involved.) Someone reported me to HR. When potential new employers call for a reference check, will my old employer tell them why I got fired? – “Charlie”
J.T.: Most employers won’t disclose why you were fired. If a new employer goes beyond a standard reference check and contacts your former manager, they might discover that you were fired, but they probably won’t find out why – it would be as embarrassing to them to talk about as it is to you. Your challenge is getting the new employer past the fact that you were fired. They will want to know why, and will consider you damaged goods unless you can show that you are remorseful and have grown. So, get ready to do some explaining. DALE: You might be tempted to get creative and make up some heroic story – saying, for instance, that you were pushing the team to achieve higher performance levels and that some of your teammates resented your lofty standards. Sounds good, right? No. I think you have to assume that the truth will come out. The story of your firing makes for irresistible gossip, which is why HR at the old company learned of your artistic endeavors. Assume your new employer will, too. J.T.: That doesn’t mean you have to give details. You simply can say that you showed someone a cartoon drawing that another employee found offensive. Do NOT mention private parts. Just emphasize that you learned a big lesson and will never again make a similar mistake. DALE: And then don’t. We have now entered the “New Prudery.” Assume that anything you text or email, much less draw, will be posted for everyone to see. Even if something questionable is not in writing, assume that it will be repeated. I know a man who told his female pal at the office an off-color joke. She thought it was hilarious, and repeated it. That next co-worker filed a complaint, and the original teller of the joke was fired. Notice that his instinct was right: The person to whom he told the joke was not offended; rather, she loved it. That was his downfall. So here’s the new standard for office humor: If what you’re about to say is something you wouldn’t say in an elevator you were sharing with your mother, the head of HR, three nuns and a guy with a video camera, don’t say it. Dear J.T. & Dale: I work on a project team, and one of the members just had a baby. Well, his wife had the baby, but he’s totally exhausted. It’s affecting his work, and that impacts my portion of the project. I’m afraid we will miss an upcoming milestone and the bonus that goes with it. Should I tell my boss and get the new dad in trouble, or do the work for him? – Steve J.T.: Go to your co-worker and say something like: “I know you are tired, but I need this bonus, and now that you are a parent, I’m sure you do, too. How are we going to make sure we get this done? I will do extra work to help you out, but if you can’t pull your weight, let’s go talk to our boss and make sure we meet the deadline.” Your co-worker needs a reality check, and you need to know if he’s going to get his head back in the game. If not, then you can go, with a clear conscience, and talk to your boss to seek help. DALE: I agree, although please approach your co-worker with sympathy in your heart, not confrontation and anger. Your reminder about the bonus may be just the impetus he needs to seek help with the baby, or maybe you two can figure out together who else on the team can pick up some of the shortfall. Go into the conversation remembering that the day is coming when you will need a teammate to come through for you. Pay it forward.
