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Dear J.T. & DALE: A new co-worker wears so much perfume I can’t be next to her. It’s offensive. What can I say that won’t hurt her feelings? – Britney

J.T.: That’s tough. If you tell her, I’m sure she’ll be embarrassed and worried you’ll talk about her behind her back.

DALE: Which is why I say just forget it – literally. Have you ever noticed how the nose has its own built-in Off switch? Only by declaring her perfume “offensive” do you keep awareness of it from disappearing. I looked for research on how long this process takes, but all I could find was a mention of nasal “boredom.” That appeared in an interesting piece in the British paper The Daily Mirror, where I learned that we humans have about 5 million to 6 million odor-detecting cells, while rabbits have 100 million and dogs over 200 million. Be grateful. I also learned how smells call up childhood memories – that’s especially true of the scent of crayons. Maybe you should try keeping a box on your desk and taking a few sniffs. It might perk
you up.

J.T.: As for a real solution, I would visit your HR department and see if they have a polite way to point out the problem without her knowing who complained. If not, sit down with her and say something like, “I’m glad you are here, I love working with you, but I have a really sensitive nose and for some reason I’m reacting to your perfume.” Hopefully, she’ll appreciate your situation and want to help.

DALE: Before resorting to that, try enjoying the smell. Take it as a mental challenge, a chance to develop your capacity for being open-minded. Conquer it and enjoy the sweet smell of victory.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I had cancer a few years ago and I beat it, but there are side effects. My brain is foggy, and sometimes I can’t work as fast as others. I just got let go from my third job since the cancer. Each time, the employer thought I was being lazy. I don’t want to tell interviewers about the cancer treatment because I’m afraid they won’t hire me. How can I manage an employer’s expectations without giving this away? – Lewis

J.T.: I have heard about the foggy-brain effect after chemo treatments, and you are wise not to talk about it in interviews. It’s not relevant to the work.

DALE: But it IS relevant to the work – so much so that its cost Lewis three jobs.

J.T.: I understand, and Lewis has it right: He has to manage an employer’s expectations. He can do that without mentioning the cancer or its aftereffects. First, he needs to manage the type of job, finding ones without tight deadlines.

DALE: In this time of management by metrics, that’s not going to be simple. Virtually everything that involves a computer is tracked: number of calls taken, number of forms submitted, whatever. So the solution may be in being self-employed, or getting paid by the project. Until recently, that would not have been an option – you would have been a hostage to an employer’s health insurance. You now have more options.

J.T.: Including the option of a traditional employment role if you avoid discussing the cancer but address the issue of workplace speed. Tell them that you like to give extra thought to your work, emphasizing quality and consistency over speed. Also, discuss with employers how they like to provide feedback. Find a good employer who will work with you on performance and have an open dialogue that will help you stay on track.

DALE: I’m sure that you’ve grown weary of doctors and medications, but there might be a medical solution to help you get started in a new job. There are drugs designed to fight the mental and physical effects of shift work, and these can be helpful with both energy and mental clarity.

J.T.: You won’t need them. Your writing to us proves that you are determined to find an answer. This is another battle you can win. Keep fighting.

– Workplace consultant and career coach J.T. O’Donnell has coached, trained and mentored employees and managers on a wide variety of career-related subjects since 1994. Her book, “CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to A Satisfying Career” is available at JTODonnell.com. Management guru Dale Dauten has written six books and is an authority on innovation in the workplace. His latest book, “Great Employees Only: How Gifted Bossess Hire & Dehire Their Way to Success” is available at Dauten.com. copyright 2013 King Features.