The eviction of a funeral mid-service at a Lakewood church could have been avoided had a clash of beliefs between a pastor and a lesbian family been vetted beforehand, religious leaders said Wednesday.
For Pastor Ray Chavez, allowing images of a gay couple to be displayed in the New Hope Ministries church he founded in 1981 would be akin to condoning a lifestyle condemned in the Bible, religious associates said. But the family of the deceased woman, Vanessa Collier, said they were only renting the church, brought their own minister and had no intention of causing doctrinal discord.
Collier’s when Chavez told her family that no images of Collier with her wife, Christina Higley, would be allowed. During an open-casket viewing 15 minutes before the funeral service, the family chose instead to leave the church, carrying the casket and flowers to a funeral home across the street.
Collier’s friends have protested the church’s decision to ban the photographs, and her widow has vented her frustrations publicly. News of the stopped funeral elicited an outpouring of support for Collier’s family and friends. Hundreds posted messages of disappointment and disgust on the New Hope Ministries Facebook page, calling for an apology.
Neither Chavez nor other church leaders returned calls seeking comment on Wednesday.
Literal ministry
But religious authorities who know Chavez say that although legitimate criticism can be made about a failure to communicate church theology to the gay family, expecting the pastor to alter his beliefs to accommodate anyone would be a sin itself.
“Ray is a fire-and-brimstone, heaven-and-hell minister,” said the Rev. Leon Kelly, a pastor at Denver’s Church of God and Christ. Kelly, like Chavez, ministers to ex-convicts and former gang members. “He cannot be expected to compromise his faith, his doctrines or his teachings.”
Kelly said he cannot go into a Buddhist or Muslim place of worship “and dictate their whole doctrinal philosophy because of mine. That would be selfish.”
Tim St. John, who writes for a Denver Christian online magazine, said Chavez believes he answers to a higher power and Chavez is not in a position to change doctrine, including gay marriage.
“Ray’s ministry is very literal as far as interpretation of the Bible,” which calls a man sleeping with a man an “abomination,” St. John said. “There are some things he can’t compromise on and be a legitimate minister. You’ve got to practice what you preach.”
Commenting on her Facebook page, Higley said it never crossed her mind that her family’s lifestyle would be an issue because “we paid to use their facility only. We brought in our own pastor to facilitate.”
“Vanessa’s services were not refused because she is a lesbian. Her services were refused because we would not let New Hope Ministries ‘edit’ her life which was a slideshow of our family photos including our engagement and family photos of her and I with our two children!” she wrote.
She added that she was not asking anyone to violate their beliefs and would have completely understood if they were asking to be married at the church and that conflicted with the church’s values.
“I only hoped we could find a house of God to celebrate my beautiful wife and her life (her whole life) and lay her to rest in God’s arms. Is it too much to ask for? To reflect on how beautiful her life is, with all of her family including myself, her children, her family and closest friends?” she wrote.
But Kelly said presenting pictures at the funeral that appear to condone a lifestyle worshippers at the church believe is a sin would be against Chavez’s beliefs.
Chavez a convict
Kelly, who runs “Open Door Youth Gang Alternatives,” said families of the deceased have wanted to play songs at his church glorifing gang life and dress loved ones in gang clothing. He said that would send mixed signals to the young men he is trying to help.
“I would not allow that to happen. If they come into my house they must abide by the governance of my house,” Kelly said.
St. John said Chavez grew up in a gang environment, went to prison then completely turned his life around. Some convicts claim to be saved then return to the lifestyle, but Chavez has led a Christian life for more than 30 years, he said.
Higley wrote that she is not asking anyone to change their faith.
“Please, I am begging anyone to help explain to our children why our life together as a family is any less than anyone else’s and inappropriate in a house of God,” she wrote on Facebook.
Kirk Mitchell: 303-954-1206, kmitchell@denverpost.com or twitter.com/kirkmitchell, denverpost.com/coldcases
Staff writer Jesse Paul contributed to this report.
