Dear Tom and Ray: My wife and I have been married for three wonderful years. I love her with all my heart and soul. When we got married, I was driving a 1987 Honda Accord that had almost 300,000 miles on it. She had a 1995 Chevy S-10 pickup with 119,000 miles and suggested that we buy a new car for me to drive. I suggested we buy her a new car and I could drive the Chevy pickup. She agreed, and we purchased a 2001 Honda Accord that had 12,000 miles, and I started driving her pickup. At the time we got married, she was living near Kansas City, Mo., and I was in Wyoming doing construction work. I went back to Wyoming to complete a project I was working on in Jackson Hole. One morning while driving over the mountains to work, I hit a moose with her truck. There was only minor damage (a glancing blow), and I was able to continue on to work that day, intending to seek an estimate for repairs later. The next day while driving over the same mountain road, a herd of elk was in the road, and I hit one, totaling the truck. These two accidents occurred in Teton National Park and were investigated by the same National Park Police officer. The officer asked me what animal I intended to hit the next day – a buffalo? I replied, “None; I think I’ll go back to Missouri.” Of course, my lovely wife blames me for destroying her truck. She continues to bring up the subject of my destroying her pickup – even three years later! Is there a statute of limitations on how long a beautiful wife, who is loved and adored beyond words, can continue to blame her loving husband for an unavoidable accident?
– Michael
Tom: Oh, Michael. The statute of limitations in a marriage is: forever. She really ought to show a little more forgiveness. First of all, her truck protected you and you weren’t hurt, which is a wonderful blessing. Second, it was a 1995 compact pickup truck with 119,000 miles on it. So it’s not like you destroyed something of great value.
Ray: The appropriate mourning period for a possession of that nature should be about 45 minutes. You guys need to have a heart-to-heart about this, Michael. I agree that it’s time to deal with this and put it behind you. You don’t want her shaking her fist at you about the S-10 pickup from her bed at the nursing home in 60 years.
Tom: If it turns out that it really is all about the truck, and it did have some special sentimental value to her, then you have to replace it. Whatever it takes, find her another 1995 S-10 pickup, same color, same everything, and give it to her. I’d be shocked if it costs you more than $3,000 – or a small fraction of what a divorce will set you back, Michael.
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