Dear Amy: My in-laws think nothing about putting a spoon they licked back into the coleslaw or potato salador double-dipping chips (taking a bite then re-dipping) into salsa or dips.
My kids were taught not to do this.
We’ve mentioned this to them a few times, but they get offended and believe we are insulting them.
What are the health risks? Maybe if we could explain it from a positive viewpoint, they might understand. — Always Offended
Dear Offended: My instinct was that this wasn’t really so harmful (despite the famous “double-dipping” episode of “Seinfeld” that has been burned into our collective memory).
And then I made some calls. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention referred me to the Food and Drug Administration.
The Food and Drug Administration referred me to a 2008 Clemson University study.
The question researchers chose to answer is: “Does double-dipping actually spread bacteria and germs?”
They assembled volunteers and used wheat crackers and dips. Ultimately, they found that in just a few double-dips, about 10,000 bacteria were transferred from the eater’s mouth to the remaining dip.
According to the director of the study, this is the rough equivalent of kissing someone on the mouth. If the person is carrying an infectious disease, it could possibly be transmitted to others.
So you have to ask yourselves: Are you on kissing terms with your in-laws?
Dear Amy: My household consists of myself, my brother, who’s 14, and our parents. My brother has excellent grades, but he doesn’t have many close friends. Middle school has been rough for him.
My father is retired and spends a lot of his time at home, making dinners, driving us places and playing on the computer.
Generally, we all get along well, except it seems as if my brother and father are constantly fighting. They are both often sarcastic, so a peaceful dinner conversation can go south fast with just the slightest negative comment from either one of them.
They can go on and on, arguing about anything and everything.
They each find something to pick on about the other (for being late, for dinner being bad, etc.).
These episodes usually end with my brother getting sent to his room and his computer being taken away from him, although my dad never enforces this.
My mother and I try to change the subject or make jokes to clear the air. My mom doesn’t support the way my dad acts toward my brother. What can we do to make our family more peaceful? — Worried Sister
Dear Worried: The first thing your family can do to create a more peaceful environment is to banish sarcasm from your household. Sarcasm is meanness disguised as humor.
Fathers and sons frequently experience a rough patch during adolescence (mothers and daughters too), but if the parent doesn’t behave like an adult, the relationship can become permanently strained.
The dinner table should be a “no criticism zone” — your mother should suggest this and you should all agree to try. The first person to violate the zone gets cleanup duty that night. Handle this as a game and participate with good humor.
I appreciate the work of Dr. Phil McGraw in helping parents realize their potential as leaders of their families. Your folks should read his book “Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family” (2005, Free Press).
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