Dear Amy: Recently I got angry at a balky self-checkout machine and just walked out of a local grocery without paying. I hadn’t planned to steal, but that’s exactly what I did — to the tune of $111.
When I got home I felt remorse and resolved to return to the store and fess up, but it took me five days to actually do so. After a long deliberation the manager told me to forget it. Frankly, I think he didn’t know how to enter my “purchases” into his database.
Also it might have been embarrassing for him to admit to his bosses that his security was so porous.
I don’t expect to be in such an awkward position again, but I’m still in a quandary. What should I do with my ill-gotten gains?
I already try to give 10 percent of my income to charity. Should I give an additional $111 to the local food bank?
What would you do in my situation? — A Troubled Customer
Dear Customer: I would do exactly as you have done — minus the unpleasantness of actually stealing the food. Pitching a fit in the store is probably more my style.
Atone for your actions by thanking the manager for his indulgence, donating to your local food bank, and volunteering to man the Toys for Tots or food bank donation box outside the store this holiday season.
Dear Amy: A friend of ours is the owner and primary cook of a small local cafe. Lately we have noticed a drop in the quality of her fare.
There seem to be fewer customers these days, and we are concerned for our friend and the future of her business, but don’t know how to approach her. She is quite proud of her business and cooking and may not react well to criticism.
Can we approach our friend about this and keep her friendship, or should we just let it go? — Hungry in the Hinterland
Dear Hungry: Your friend knows her business is not going well because her receipts are down.
You can support her efforts by patronizing her cafe and encouraging her to prepare successful dishes.
Unless she asks for your opinion, there is no need for you to give it.
Dear Amy: I’m responding to the letter from “Soccer Mom,” who complained that her daughter’s soccer coach’s mother was a loud bully at the games.
Years ago my own dear father was behaving badly at my nephew’s baseball games — so badly, in fact, that my brother barred him from the games. My dad stayed in the parking lot and watched through the fence! My brother firmly told Dad that he could not behave that way.
This is now a classic family story. Our father is actually a sweetie, yet can be ferocious when it comes to sports and politics.
As hard as it is to be firm to one’s own parent, this particular coach needs to put her foot down with her mother. — Experienced
Dear Experienced: I agree — but if the coach can’t manage her bully mother, someone else should.
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